You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
