Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
