Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
