I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
