dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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