1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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