Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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