He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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