Please, let me fuck your mom
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
