Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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