It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
