even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
