you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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