What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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