This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Randomize
