my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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