hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
