just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
