Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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