Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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