Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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