Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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