in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
