i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
