U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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