so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
