Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
