Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
stop calling my apartment porn island.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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