he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
