I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
