I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
My life is pants optional.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
