it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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