I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
