i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
