oh fat girl friday strikes again...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
