My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
There r osticjed everywhere
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
