I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
