went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
one might say we're banned from that church
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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