Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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