My nipple is on Facebook.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
