You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
