he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
