The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
