i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i love accidental penises.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
