suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
