when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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