His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
