ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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