I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
