hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Blood and glitter go together right?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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