Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
