I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize