I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
