we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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