Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize