You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Randomize