Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
