Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
