Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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