In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize