And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
