it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
