so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
where are my eyebrows?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
