i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
