Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
